Silence is my solitude.
My head is aching.
Thinking all the time.
Wondering too much.
Why is it so hard to deal with this huge, gaping hole in my heart?
My fragile, bleeding heart.
Do you even notice? Do you recognise my anguish?
It's all because of you...My love for you.
Please, notice this pain of mine. Please, I beg you.
I'm dying...slowly.
Untitled #2--28 Dec. 2009
Pushing you into the dark corners of my mind.
Keeping you there in secret...rarely do I frequent there.
Too much pain. Too much of everything.
Every time I step near that corner I get sucked in...into that never-ending vortex...
Stuck in your web of fabrications and lies...
My well-needed comfort lies there.
The cure for apathy--21 Dec. 2009
My ego is hidden in the shadows of apathy.
When apathy is taking over…It’s hard to care...hard to feel.
Love comes near and takes apathy by the hand and leads it away, slowly.
It starts to unveil this hidden ego of mine.
My dear and long lost ego!
Has love set it free?
How long will it last…Do I always have to rely on love as an apathetic cure?
If love leaves, will my ego go back in hiding?
When will I have the ability to stop relying on this precious treasure?
Maybe soon, hopefully forever, but maybe never…
Sadly, the apathy leisurely creeps up again…Please, save me.
Love comes near and takes apathy by the hand and leads it away, slowly.
It starts to unveil this hidden ego of mine.
My dear and long lost ego!
Has love set it free?
How long will it last…Do I always have to rely on love as an apathetic cure?
If love leaves, will my ego go back in hiding?
When will I have the ability to stop relying on this precious treasure?
Maybe soon, hopefully forever, but maybe never…
Sadly, the apathy leisurely creeps up again…Please, save me.
Beauty Uncovered--11 May 2009
Opaque glass in front of me...
I can't see through it.
The only way to do so is to break it.
Break it into pieces...maybe.
I take a closer look.
It seems there is a slight beauty on the other side.
What is it? Who is it?
I must find out who I'm looking at. Find out her secrets.
How can I be like her?
It's hard to break through.
Thick opaque glass seeming to get thicker by the second.
Getting weaker--trying too hard to uncover the mystery.
Anger and sadness starts to settle in.
I suddenly give up.
I press my fragile face against the glass and tears start falling--starting to 'stain'
the glass making it look more clear.
I, slowly, start realising the beautiful and mysterious creature is me...
She was hidden...lost...forgotten.
I embrace her...and feel I can finally start anew or so I hope.
Alone-- March 2009
Moonlit skies
Alone I cry
Never knowing
Ever struggling
You are what I want
But I can never have you
Morning dawn
And still alone--I moan.
Heart broken
Impatient breathing
Wondering when you'll use those three little words towards me again.
Afternoon rain...
Still in pain
I force myself to forget the past...
And realise I'm alone for now...
And maybe alone forever more...
they're so beautiful :)
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